Did he visit her freezer first after breaking in, or did he bring the ice with him in a cooler? And why is she so comfortable with being woken up by a near-stranger like this? It’s a scene that, even on paper, must have read as weird and creepy. At first, most viewers will assume it’s the kidnappers after her father’s money-yes, there’s a crazy subplot involving extortion, witness protection, and crooked cops that convenientlu gives our rappin’ star a last-act redemptive arc-but, no, the film cuts away to reveal that Vanilla Ice had been secretly lounging in her bed this whole time. A mysterious hand reaches into frame, dripping liquid into her mouth before its fingers part her lips and a wet, half-melted ice cube is pushed inside. The camera lingers in a close-up as she sleeps peacefully, bathed early morning light.
#Vanilla ice cool as ice full
It’s still full of bizarre choices on so many different levels, the most painfully awkward of which may be a scene in which our heroine, Kathy (Kristin Minter), is rudely awoken by a bed intruder. Not that better timing would have saved the film, exactly.
#Vanilla ice cool as ice movie
By the time Ice’s movie was released, most of the kids who would have lined up to see it had already exchanged their Day-Glo tees for ratty flannels. As pointed out on the commentary on this Blu-ray release, Cool as Ice hit theaters just weeks after Nirvana’s Nevermind hit shelves and changed the direction of ‘90s music for good. All of this, combined with a tidal shift in popular musical tastes, meant that Vanilla Ice went from cool to some people to very, very uncool to everyone in a very short amount of time. While at the peak of his chart success, Vanilla Ice was the target of numerous takedowns in regards to his authenticity as a rapper at the same time, his blinding whiteness in the hip-hop arena made him the punchline to countless jokes. system, you knew it was time to hit the rink.) As a young man, Vanilla Ice was suddenly slammed with a level of fame that only the biggest pop artists ever enjoy-and before he could come to grips with it, it crashed down around him.
(This coincided with my peak roller skating years: when “Ice Ice Baby” came on the P.A. Released in September of ’90, Vanilla Ice’s major label debut became the fastest-selling hip-hop album of all time the lead single, “Ice Ice Baby,” was in constant rotation on MTV and pop radio stations. There was a time which lasted almost a year, from late 1990 through mid-1991, when a Vanilla Ice movie might have seemed like a good idea to a room full of Hollywood executives. There’s no need to defend Cool as Ice, but it is helpful to try and understand it. On top of it all, our hero comes off as a mild asshole in his best moments, and a borderline sociopath in his worst.
The music wasn’t exactly cutting-edge when it topped the charts, and hasn’t aged particularly well since. Pop star Vanilla Ice’s acting talents don’t extend anywhere beyond a single eyebrow, which arches when he needs to convey a feeling of unwarranted over-confidence, and simply relaxes when he wants to express any other point on the emotional spectrum. Just roll with it.Ĭool as Ice makes frequent appearances on Worst Movies lists, and really, it’s not hard to see why. No, it doesn’t make any sense if you think about it for more than five seconds. To paraphrase the movie’s tagline: when a girl has a heart of stone, how else are you going to melt her heart? “Just add ice.”
Not one to be brought down, Johnny uses this opportunity to woo the pretty valedictorian whose back he almost broke-by humiliating her square boyfriend, pickpocketing her datebook, breaking into her house, and dry-humping her on the floor of the local teen hangout. The crew shack up with a pair of married mechanics, who live in a house that looks like the sort of children’s television show set you get when your production designer takes acid. When his pal’s bike breaks down a few miles later, Johnny and his droogs are stranded in the comely equestrian’s quiet hometown. Craving the validation of her attention, he jumps his sweet bike over her riding path-because nothing drives a girl wild like getting thrown from her horse. As his posse zips across the countryside on their fluorescent, color-coordinated Suzukis, he spots a fair maiden on horseback. Johnny Van Owen is a rap drifter, bouncing from city to city, club to club, dropping rhymes and sick dance moves in any empty warehouse where cool kids get down.
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